A crow's star
by x103femke
Summary: Mara and Charlotte's story from the beginning. When and why did Mara start playing with aether? Teaching her friends about it and her plans for the future, for the void. How will that decision affect the future?
1. 1505 part I

I was running through the thick fog of the woods. We had reached the high point of autumn and the weather was cold and unpleasant- and running away from home with a seven-year-old little girl just made thins harder-, the air biting against our skins. It had been long since the leaves from the trees started falling and I could listen to the crunchy sounds as I stepped over them, followed by my daughter's footsteps. We were reaching to the field where our horse was and the guilt started to break through my thoughts once again; what have I done? I did not want to leave my people behind, not after this. That was just wrong. But I had to.

Mara was still behind me when we finally got to the horses and I was thankful for the kid being fast and managing to keep up with me.

"Shhh," I said, trying to calm my daughter down. Mara was too young to be watching this. She was seven and more important: she was still a child. Mara shouldn't have to wake up to see her mother fighting with her father, to see her mother desperate and then grab her as fast as possible and run away, in the middle of the night, through the woods. That wasn't how I wanted things to be and that wasn't what a child should see.

"I am scared, Mother." The words came out of her tiny lips and it _stung._ I was going through the guilt road again before I shook my head and brought myself back to the present. Later. Later I'd have time to feel guilt as much as I wanted; first I needed to get Mara to the cottage safe and sound. Maybe try to get the kid to fall sleep.

"I know, Dove." I lifted her up onto the horse, then doing the same myself, sitting behind her and taking the reins.

"Where are we going?" Mara asked.

"Somewhere safe." I answered her and started moving towards the cottage we were headed. It had been a few minutes of pure silence, until her voice broke it.

"Where's Father?" She asked and I couldn't make myself lie, not to her. I always taught her that being honest would always be better than lying. Lying to her right now, in the middle of this situation, would be easier and the better option but I just couldn't.

"I don't know, Mara. He's coming." He always did. He _had_ to. If not for me, then for Mara.

When we reached at the small cottage, I jumped off the horse, then brought Mara to the ground with me. She was a small child for her age and getting on or dismounting the horse was a problem- and it wasn't like had taught her to do so, either. I have always been scared of Mara falling down and ending up hurting herself, like breaking a arm or twisting her ankle. We really didn't need that, specially not now.

"Get inside." I sent her towards the door's direction, then proceeded to take the horse to the stable next to the cottage, took the saddle off and gave her some ray. Dancer was a good girl. When I was done with her, I made my way back to the cottage and Mara had already lit the candles when I came in.

"Mother, what are we going to do now?" She asked, fear clear in her eyes, expression clouded. I was her mother and I felt so vulnerable now, seeing my daughter like that.

"We are safe here, Dove. Promise. We are going to wait for Father." I took my cape off and threw it on the rocking chair nearby the window, not caring much about how it landed. I could fold the cape tomorrow; I was tired, I needed to make sure Mara got some sleep. It was late and no small child should be up that late.

"When are we going back?" Once again, her voice broke the silence. It was weak and it sounded brittle, like she was about to cry, but was trying to keep strong for me, for _us_. I sighed. I needed a way to distract her. I knelt down in front of her and a warm and gentle beam spread across my face.

"I don't know, Dove." I replied with all the honesty in the world, but still keeping the smile on my face, "Hey, remember last time we were here?"

She nodded and the beam got wider, with a little bit more teeth. It seemed like it was infectious because as soon as Mara focused on that Mara, on a _happy_ memory for once, she was beaming too, "It was your birthday..."

"Father threw a piece of cake on your face and we ended up having a food fight," She laughed, making me laugh with her, "And your hair was so dirty..."

She touched my hair the way she did when it happened. Charles and I used to be pretty happy, back then. Things escalated quickly and they were going bad so fast. I didn't even know what to do anymore to do anymore to fix what he had done, to fix our marriage, "We went bathing and we still couldn't get it out."

"Yes." I said, "I want you to hold that memory every time something goes wrong, okay?" She nodded again, "Now go to sleep. I will come in a few minutes."

Mara shook her head, her lips still forming a beam. I gave her a kiss on the forehead and she headed to the bedroom.

* * *

When I got to the bedroom, Mara was sound asleep. Rushing out of the castle in the middle of the night tended to do that to a child. No wonder why she was so tired. I walked to the wardrobe and changed my dress to my sleeping clothes and then proceeded to sit on the edge of the bed. It had been a rough day and an even rougher night and I couldn't stop the tears from falling anymore.

 _Damn Charles, damn the castle, damn everything_ , I thought. I was so exhausted but couldn't sleep. Why, why did he do this, why did he have to use aether on _my_ people for god's sake? I was so angry and scared. I loved him and he had betrayed me, betrayed our daughter. His own family! I slowly took the band out of my hair and laid besides my beautiful daughter. If it came down to it, I would take care of her myself, and he would have nothing left. I drifted in and out consciousness.

* * *

The next morning I woke up with Mara's arms around me. I slowly opened up my eyes, but they were fighting against it- I spent most of the night and part of the dawn tossing and turning on the bed; I still wasn't so sure how Mara managed to keep sleeping. When I finally fought the urge to ignore it and go back to sleep, I opened my eyes and realized Mara was awake, trying to wake me up.

"Hey, Dove. What's wrong?" My hands cupped her face as I laid a kiss on the top of her head. She looked relieved and I was guessing that was better than scared, better how she looked last night.

"You were screaming in your sleep. I thought hugging you would help." She looked up to meet my eyes. God, she had beautiful blue eyes just like her father and when I was pregnant, I'd always pray she'd get those from him, "Father told me he always hugs you when you're scared."

"Yes, he does." I smiled at her, at the memory that now seemed distant. Would we ever get back to that point again? "There's still some stuff in the kitchen to make some pancakes."

Pancakes had always been Mara's favorite and I guessed it was because of how sweet we could make them be. Mara was different from other kids in many aspects but her love for sweets wasn't any different from other children.

* * *

"Father!" I heard my daughter shout from the table we were having breakfast at. I was so focused on eating, on trying to make small talk with Mara, make her forget about what had gone down in our house, in the pathway to the cottage, that hadn't seen Charles getting in. I wasn't even sure if he'd have to guts come here, to get back to me, not after everything he had done to my people, not after our fight last night. Mara got up from the chair as quick as her tiny legs allowed her, running to her father's arms and wrapping hers around his neck. Charles lifted her up kissed her forehead.

"Hello, little bird." I heard Charles say after putting her down. My eyes went from the plate before to watch the whole scene. Unbelievable how he could act like nothing had happened, that everything was fine between us.

"Father, father- Mother and I ran away with Dancer and we went through the forest!" Mara told her father, enthusiastically. I couldn't help but grin at her and her words- when she put it like that, it seemed like it was the most awesome thing she did in her life.

"That is really awesome, little bird." He walked towards me and laid his hand on my shoulder, "Are you feeling alright, dear?"

"Wonderful, just a little off." I looked at him in the eyes, trying to make it clear I wasn't alright. In fact, I was seething.

"I get it." Charlies leaned down and kissed my cheek, ignoring my warning, "I think we can go back. It's safe now."

Mara, apparently, was listening to our conversation and at the work 'back' and 'safe' she ran to my skirt's apron strings and started pull on it, "Oh, can we go back now, Mother?

"We will try to, Dove." My hands moved to her hair, curling around my fingers, but my eyes met my husband's once again, "Can I talk to you, darling?"

Charles sighed loudly enough. He knew where this was conversation was going and it was going the same way last evening's conversation went. I just hoped it wouldn't be as explosive as our last talk was. Not when Mara was there to see or hear them fighting.

"Yes, of course." He started at Mara before adding, "Mara, little bird, can you check on the horses?"

Mara nodded happily and ran outside.

"Darling, why are you like this? You've been acting so word this morning." Charles finally asked, when he felt like Mara as far away enough so she wouldn't listen to it.

"You know _exactly_ why." I said matter-of-factly, palpable anger on my tone, "You were using people, Charlies. _Our_ people."

"Dear, it's not using! I'm a scientist, Elizabeth. I was just some of the aether, darling. That was all." Charlies tried to defend himself and I rolled my eyes. God, sometimes he was so pathetic. I bet most of the times he didn't know what he was saying. He couldn't admit his mistakes, admit what he had done and how wrong it was. That just helped to add more how angry I was.

"Don't lie to me. Not now, not when I know better than that." I hissed, trying not to shout. Mara was at the stable taking care of the horses, but she'd listen to me if I shouted. I didn't want her to listen to this, I didn't want her to come back to the cottage and see her parents fighting. No child deserved to see something like that, specially my sweet daughter.

"Darling..."

"Don't darling me!" I finally shouted, not able to keep back my anger. I needed to calm down, to keep my temper in check. I took a deep breath. I wasn't calm, not calm enough, anyways, but it was as close as I would get, "Just... just tell me the truth. Why did you do this? You could be banished. And then, then I'll have to explainmy daugter, _our_ daughter, that her father is a traitor, that he experimented on people- innocent people, people who didn't do anything to deserve this!"

I finally shout and let all of my anger fall, and I didn't even try to hide the fact I was seething, the fact he was the last person I wanted to see at the moment. I sighed at the memory: I broke my own promise. After Mara was born, I promised myself I'd never shout at Charles. No matter how angry I was.

"You don't understand," Charles said like he couldn't believe my words, like he couldn't believe how angry, like he couldn't believe how I didn't _understand_ what he was doing, "The aether... it is powerful. It's something we've never seen. Dear, you have to believe me in this one-"

"I don't care and I don't want to know it. You'll stop using it and you'll stop hurting people."

"But..." Charles tried to argue and left a humorless laughter out. Unbelievable.

"No. You will stop it _now_ or I'll leave." My eyes were shining, I knew there were. There were tears there threatening to fall and I hated how weak I looked right now, "And I'm taking Mara with me."

I didn't wait for an answer. As soon as the words were out of my mouth I left the cottage to find Mara at stable. Charles was left alone to make his own choice, and I wasn't going to stand there and I watch it.

* * *

 **A/N: Massive thanks to mari compactor for helping me out with detailing stuff! I love you!**


	2. 1505 part II

"Mother, what happened?" Mara had stopped braiding the Friesian's mane when I came into the stable. I had to guess I looked beyond frustrated and torn, even though I had tried to hide it before coming in here to pick up Mara and get things ready to head home, "Why are you crying?"

"It's okay, Dove." I knelt in front of her. Why was keeping a straight face and lying to my daughter's face was so hard? I always taught her that telling the truth was always the better choice, no matter what, but now, at this moment, I was aware that lying to protect Mara was the better option and the choice. Why was this so hard? I tried to smile but the tears fell down my cheek before I could stop them, "We will go home soon."

"Don't cry, Mother. Everything will be fine," She smiled back and her tiny hands brushed the tears off my cheek. I held her hands between mines and brought them to my lips, kissing them. Everything was so messed up- even our family- and I didn't know how to tell her what was going on. How could I? She was just seven and as mother, I felt the need to protect her feelings at all costs.

"I know, love. I have you, don't I?" Mara nodded at my question and now a genuine smile crossed my lips, "Good. That is good."

Mara looked me right in the eye. "Why did you shout at each other?"

"I was just frustrated at what happened. I'm sorry you had to hear that." I let her hands go and touched her cheeks, feeling the softness of her skin and noticing the tenderness of her eyes, "Mara, your father did some things, wrong things, and that is why we were shouting at each other."

"Oh," She simply replied, "Can we go home now?"

"Of course," I went inside to gather some of my things, my cape still on the rocking chair near the window, still unfolded. Now, Charles was sitting at the table and it seemed like he was lost on his own thoughts. When he realized I was inside the cottage and getting ready to leave, his eyes fixed on my frame. I looked back at him and his eye met mine, my expression showing no emotion.

"I don't care if you are coming with us or not, but listen to me on this: you need to stop. When it's about aether and- how did you put it? Its power? I know more about it than you do," I fixed my gaze somewhere else, at the view outside the window. It was a beautiful and quite early autumn morning and I could see the leaves falling. If I opened the window, I would be able to feel the thin and cold air biting against my skin, so cold that it almost hurt. Most of the times, autumn reminded me of beginning of the end- the way all the trees lost their leaves and looked dead and how, three months later, spring would come back and bring said trees back to life. It truly was beautiful.

Shaking the thoughts off my head, I looked back at him. Deep inside, I was scared of losing him, of giving up on our family, our future. He would not- no, could not- leave us, would he? If that happened, what would people say? What would they think?

"Darling," Charles got up from the table where Mara and I were having breakfast and approached me, caressing my arms in a such smooth and gentle I would expect from anyone but him, specially right now. The way he was looking at me, like I was a sort of hurt animal that needs help left me seething, "You clearly do not get it-"

"Do not. Do not do that," This was not going the way I expected, "You either stop it or I am going to find a way to leave you and I am taking my daughter with me."

* * *

"My lady," I heard Howard greet me when we reached our house. I jumped off the horse and then, like always, helped Mara down. It didn't take us much time to get home- it was obviously slower than it was last night, given the fact we weren't in a rush and weren't running away- and certainly was much nicer than last night's. I could show Mara the woods, the trees and animals, could tell her stories, legends that our people carried for many, many years. We never had the chance to have talks like those and she was delighted by it. It was something I'd like to repeat some day.

"Could you take care of the horse?" Howard nodded. I held Mara's hand in mine and walked inside. Everyone greeted us and asked about my husband and I made up an excuse, saying he wasn't feeling so well, hence why he couldn't ride the horse and come with us. I made sure to tell Charles would be with us in a few hours; I would stay at the cottage with him, but I couldn't keep Mara there forever. As I talked with Dorothy, one of our cooks, I felt Mara impatiently tugging at the skirt of my dress. I finished my conversation with Dorothy and took Mara to the living room instead.

"What is it, Dove?" I asked when we reached there, letting go of her her hand.

"May I play with my friends, Mother?"

I wasn't sure if Mara running around all by herself was a good idea, not right now. Not with so many people hurt, with so many people angry at us. They could use her to get to me and to get to Charles, who knew? People did stupid things when they were angry. Keeping her inside wasn't the best either- she would get frustrated and would start making a mess. Besides, Mara was a smart girl and she would find a way to get to me if anything happened. I sighed before nodding, "Of course, Mara. Be careful, come to me if something happens."

"Thank you, mother," She hugged me, a giggle escaping from her lips, and ran away. When Mara was finally out of my sight, I went to my room upstairs and grabbed the journal I left at the nightstand and started writing about what had happened the past few weeks- I hadn't had much time to actually sit down and write what was happening in my life, to let the anger out. It helped in a way and I wasn't all that angry anymore. After I was done, I put the journal back at the nightstand and started looking for a solution to fix this situation, to fix things between Charles and me. Shaking the thoughts out of mind, I started to prepare a bath for me. I took my own sweet time, taking the longest bath I could. Once I was done, I got dressed again and french braided my hair, then walked downstairs to meet Howard again.

"Where is your husband, Elizabeth?" Howard said, looking right in my eyes. He worked for me for over fifteen years and more often than now I considered him a friend and not an employee. I knew I could trust him and tell him everything, specially about what Charles had done and how that had complicated our relationship. I knew Howard would keep a secret and whatever we talked about would stay between us.

"Who knows at this point? I didn't even know what he had been up to until a few hours ago." I sighed loudly, "My priority right now is keeping my daughter as safe as I can, not on trying to keep track of my husband. I cannot get him to be here right now or at any specific moment, but Charles will be here in no time."

"I understand, my lady." Howard held my right wrist with his left hand and rubbed his thumb on it. I knew what he was trying to do and he was trying to comfort me any way he could right now. It was working, in a way, "May I ask you what happened? It must have been bad, with you running away with your daughter in the middle of the night."

"I may not tell you what happened, not right now. What I can tell you, though, is that Charles did something awful to many, many people. The worse? He doesn't want to stop. He keeps giving me the 'I'm a scientist' excuse." Suddenly, my anger was back and I was very, very angry.

* * *

Suddenly Mara, William and a girl I've never seen before ran in. She had two brown pigtails and beautiful brown eyes she wore a light purple dress.

"Look mother what we found!" Mara said enthousiastic. She had two tiny black balls of stuff I didn't recognized in her hand.

"Dove what is that?" I asked scared knowing that it wasn't anything to play with. "Can you please give it to me?" I held my hands out.

"Yes, of course." She gave the black balls to me. "Is it also okay if Amena stays here tonight?"

"Yes, don't want you to stay too William?" I asked him.

"No I am fine Mrs. Lewis." He answered me. I didn't like him so that was fine.

"So you are Amena?" I looked at the little girl next to Mara.

"Yes." She said pointing her chin up. "I just came here, I live with my father."

"That's lovely, for how long now?"

"Two weeks I guess." She smiled shy.

"Well make yourself at home." I looked at Mara. "I am going to sleep Dove, so if there is anything wake me up."

"We will too soon." Mara smiled and hugged me and the three children walked away.

"Can you hide this for me?" I asked Howard who was still standing beside me. "And who is that girl exactly?"

"Came here a week ago, only lives with her dad, her mother died giving birth to her sister who also died. Her dad is a farrier."

"Poor girl." I said. "I am going to head to bed so if you could close down please?"

"Of course my lady." He said.

* * *

"Elizabeth, I'm sorry. I really am," Charles brought his hand to my chin and made me look in his eyes. His fingertips were light, tender. "I have done an awful, terrible mistake, and I am trying to fix it now. I promise it won't happen again."

"I know," And suddenly, I wasn't all that angry anymore and what he had done didn't bother me as much as it had when I found out. Suddenly, the good memories we had together were enough to overcome the bad ones, "I was just scared. I should not have yelled at you, either."

"It's okay. You were trying to do the right thing, I understand," He smiled at me and for the first time in weeks, it reached his eyes. I couldn't help myself but return the smile, too. Our smile seemed infectious and before I could say something else, his lips were on mine. The kiss was gentle, full of tenderness I didn't expect from him, not right now anyways. It had been so long since he kissed me like this; I couldn't even remember the last time things had gone this way.

Charles was sorry and he was trying to apologize the best way he could, I knew that much, I realized that as we kissed, and as the kiss got rougher, more passionate, a groan- needy and full of want all at once- escaped from the back of his throat. A low and throaty chuckle escape from my mouth; that was exactly how I remembered him, exactly how I wanted him right now. Charles got on top of me, being careful to not be too heavy, but enough to pin me down. His hands cupped my neck, trying to find a better angle to kiss me. The kiss deepened, and I wrapped my legs around his waist as my hands moved to the buttons of his shirt to undress him. I didn't know if we'd go back to how we used to be before, but we could try. It was, already, a good start.


	3. 1505 part III

"Charles can I talk to you?." I asked him after the big dinner we had. I haven't been feeling well the last couple weeks and it started to bother me.

"Yes, of course darling, Mara you can go now, little bird" Things were better now, better then before, and I was so happy about that. We were that tiny little family were I wished for again. "What's wrong?"

"Well, I haven't been feeling well the last couple weeks, and I don't know what it is." I breathed out. "Maybe you could help me figure this out?"

"Yes, sure how do you feel?" He stood up and kneeled besides me.

"Well I feel nauseous all the time and I don't know what it is." I was scared something was terrible wrong. He laid his hand on my forehead to check my temperature.

"You're not hot that's good." He took my hand in his. "Since when are you feeling like this."

"I don't know, for a while, I thought it would go over soon." He was worried I saw it in his eyes. This is probably bad. Tears came in my eyes.

"Come on, I'll get you to bed." He lifted me up in his arms and I laid my head against his shoulder. "Do you feel more nauseous after eating?" He asked as he lay me down on the king sized bed.

"A little." I nodded He slowly took my boots off. "Depends what I eat."

"It'll be fine, darling." He joined me on the bed and hold me close. I felt safe and a little better at that moment. "This may be an odd question, but have you bled lately?"

I looked at him in shock. "No, now you say it. Oh my god I should've realized it sooner."

I sat up. "What should we do?" I looked at him. He looked way to relaxed.

"Elizabeth, it's okay." He pulled me down next to him. "We'll just have another running around, and I know Mara would love to be a big sister."

* * *

The day after we discovered we decided that telling Mara was the best, she deserves to know she'll become a big sister. So we all gathered around the big dinner table with way to many chairs for the three of us. Soon to be four. Yesterday I was so scared but now I am so excited to meet the little one.

"Little bird, your mother and I have to tell you something." Charles started he sat on my right side, I sat at the head of the table.

"Do I get a puppy?" Mara asked excited, she couldn't sit still.

"No dove" I laughed "but you will be able to play with it."

"A cat?" She tried again with a big smile.

"No, Mara you are going to have a baby brother or sister." Charles smiled.

"Really?" She asked unbelievable and stood up. "Father that was my last try!"

"Really." I said and looked at Charles.

"I think we have to have a group hug now." Charles said and Mara jumped on the table and flew around my neck. "Careful Mara." He warned and joined our hug.

"Where is my brother or sister now?" Mara asked into my hair.

"Well it's growing in mothers belly." Charles explained and I looked at him with a serious face. It's a not done to talk about sex while there are young children around.

"Why did you eat it!" Mara pulled back and looked at me. I tried not to laugh.

"Dove, I didn't eat it."

"Okay, but why is it in your belly?"

"To grow strong enough to play with you." Charles explained.

"Ooh, when will he or she come out?"

"In a few months dove."

* * *

7 months later I held my new little girl, Myrtha. She had long brown hair for a new born and beautiful light blue eyes. It was an easy pregnancy, Charles helped me. Well holding my hand and I almost broke it. Not my fault.

After he cleaned Myrtha, he called Mara in to meet her little sister for the first time.

I was just feeding her when Mara and Charles came in. Mara held her favorite stuffed animal, a horse, as she walked in.

"Hello mother." She said and climbed onto the bed to sit on my right side.

"Hey dove." I kissed her forehead. "Meet your new sister Myrtha." She leaned over to get a better view.

"When can we play?" She looked at her father who stood at the end of the bed.

"She has to grow a little for that, little bird." He also climbed onto the bed to sit on my left.

"You'll be a great sister." I kissed her head, gave Myrtha to Charles and fell asleep.

* * *

Turns out she wasn't. Not until 15 years later.

Amena came running in the house when I was talking to Howard.

Mara had found out what Aether could do. She gave Amena a special ability, one that could make sure that Mara could travel between worlds.

She also grew a lot closer to William, more than I liked it. She said she loved him. I didn't believe it.

Charles began to experiment on our people again. Not only that, he thought Mara to use the aether 'properly'. He also taught Myrtha, she used it to cure the things he did, he called her foolish, weak.

I begged him to stop. Shouted. Cried. Both Mara and Myrtha had to listen to it, to my hate towards him. Mara didn't care, aether was addictive, she wanted to play with it. She did, she gave 'special abilities' to people of the other world. She started to call them troubled

Myrtha got scared, hid away in her closet a lot. I said sorry so many times to her. She said she got it. She knew something was wrong. Charles and I grew apart while Myrtha and I drew closer. We did everything together, I loved her so much. More then I ever did. I taught her to dance, sew, draw and all the other things she loved.

I started to love her more than Mara. That's wrong if you have two daughters, I know. It got me, stabbed me in the back. Charles was banned to the void and I didn't care. Mara did. She got so mad. Threaded to kill me. I barely saw her after that. She spent most of her time with William.

One day I tried to take both Mara and Myrtha out on a picnic to try to make things better again. I was so foolish. We all looked happy but Mara had other thoughts. William suddenly came running into the field grabbed me by my throat, Mara laughed at me with a wicked smile. She turned towards Myrtha and got a knife which she hid under her dress. I shouted at her, told her to stop, to let Myrtha go, but she had William on her side. He held me down as she held Myrtha, with fear in her eyes, down and slit her throat. She said: "You always loved her more." She killed her own sister. She didn't care. William dragged me away and I never saw Myrtha again.

When I finally got free I was so angry. I created the barn. 27 years away. Howard volunteered to be the driver. Mara would have different personality, who would help the people Mara had hurt. She would have to help the people for 6 months and then go back, for 27 years, to the barn. William would be trapped there forever.

As soon as I punished them I went back to Myrtha's body but she was gone. I cried so much.


End file.
